Left with a single digit.

9 days.



I need my confidence.
I need yours too.


Congratulate me please.
I sprained my ankle again!


Fuck fuck fuck.
I don't know why but I'm damn scared.
I'm more afraid of this than anything I've ever been afraid of.


Breathe in, breathe out.


Tears too difficult to hold back.
Tired we are. On we must go.

Are you stressed?
Are you pressurized?
Are you panicking?
Are you nervous?
Are you afraid?
Are you tired already?



Let's not rely on a miracle, please.
Let's rely on our capabilities.

We all know it's possible.



Happy Birthday, Fabian.
Your arse is perfect. (:


Today, I took the longest, quietest and most emo bus ride home.
25 minutes, past about 16 stops,
yet it felt like an hour, past some 30 stops.


Taking bus home alone was never so emo.
I don't wanna take bus home alone again. Not fun.
Makes your thoughts run wild.

I don't think I'm doing things the right way.
I've way a lot to learn man. =(



Nevertheless, it's 14 more days!
Yet another day closer to our big day.


I love CMB. Do you?


Happy Birthday, Yao Zong. :D
The beast loves you. Fwahaha!




YAY! :D
I like this neoprint a lot a lot ! X)


Tomorrow is MONDAY again.

Monday

=

Tiring Econs lesson.
Ridiculous E Math lesson.
Newspaper review.
E Math Common Test.
Sec 1 Sectionals.



Sian !


I remember someone telling me this.
I can't remember who it was, but someone told me that..

That we should never be afraid and freak out on stage.
Because the people around you are your fellow band mates,
maybe the best friends you've made in your life.
And they're all just sitting around you.
With so many people with you on stage,
what's there to be afraid of?

Feel proud about it.
Feel proud to be a band member.
Feel proud to have such wonderful band mates.
Feel proud of the music you make.
Feel proud that you're not in any other band.
Feel proud that you're not in any other ccas.
Feel proud every time you put on that band tee.



Oh, I think it was Liying.
No wait, was it? O_O Aiya, I can't remember.
But I think it's really true. :D



The whole visualization thing today
made some of us cry,
perhaps made some people wake up,
perhaps it was like a waste of time for some people,
but it definitely made a difference.

Actually, I thought it was quite cool. :D


It's just 16 more days.
Keep going, my friends. :D


In case you didn't know my name is spelled with TWO Ls,
I'm telling you now. It's ELLISE LIM.

Stop calling me ELISE, ELSIE, L-LISE and all the crap.
I really hate it when someone pronounces it as ALICE.
It sounds super gay. =(


-

Do you feel the intense panic around you? I don't.
Why why why why why?


Please work out fine.
Please please please please please.



You know you know? ...
Nah. You don't know anything.
What do you know?
Nothing I guess.
You'll never understand.


Maybe our hearts will find a way.


I FINALLY PASSED MY 2.4KM RUN,
WITH A WONDERFUL TIMING OF 16 MINS 06 SECS.

COME ON. REJOICE PLEASE.
I NEVER RAN FASTER THAN 17 MINS BEFORE.
I SO DESERVE A CHOCOLATE BAR LAH.


FWAHAHA.


18 DAYS TO SYF.


Yes, yes, yes. The news we've all been wanting to know.


9th of April 2007.
Band Number 8.

Which means, we have exactly..


20 DAYS


Yes. 20 days to SYF.
I'm very, very, very, very, very, very, _______.

I've calculated.
If we have the same number of practises, we'll have exactly
5 full bands,
5 1.5 hour sectionals ( excluding Saturdays) ,
3 long long sectionals,
and 3 days for individuals.


Ellise Lim, work hard, please.
You don't want to disgrace your seniors.

Seriously.




CMB, ADD OIL !


Yeah. I made my own decisions, and it's my own choice.
I chose to make things the way it is now, so yeah,
this is NOT the time to start regretting anything,
neither is it the time to have any negative thoughts.
And yes, I will never think about it again.

We must move on, isn't it?
We must be happy, and happy we will be. :D

But I can't seem to help having such thoughts whenever I quiet down and I'm not busy with anything. Why oh why. This is so wrong. Wrong.
Maybe the solution is to keep myself busy with everything in the world that would keep me busy. Then I'll stop thinking of all the impossible possibilities.


Bibiana, I miss your turtle shell.
I miss what the past used to be.
I feel like I'm drifting apart from my friends,
and like I'm losing a lot a lot of things.


The oboe section must not die in my hands.
Tianji must not die after I leave.
Ezzul must not die even more badly after Tianji leaves.
And the future generations mustn't fall.


Talking to Fabian never fails to make me laugh.
How's your arse? :D



Ah, all the random thoughts.




Oh yes. And I love playing the turn around game with Ting Ting.
That never fails to make me laugh a lot too. :D


One reason to feel sad,
a thousand other reasons to be happy.

WHOOO !


HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HANNAH WONG PAWK !

Yes, term 2 starts tomorrow.
Bloody hell lah, I haven't finished any of my homework.
And I don't intend to finish them by tomorrow anyway.

Here's one word to summarize my March holidays.


Band.

:D
=(
(:
x(

Whatever.

Here are a few random shots.




Once upon a time, on our way to SAJC,
we realised we all wear the same type of slippers! X_X

One of the most meaningful birthday gifts ever.


Ah Siok made me a 爱心套餐 !
I was damn touched can. Can? CAN? :D

Please tell me who recognise the person in the picture.


Oh, the blue blue sky.

The sunset view from our school's beautiful.

Pretty eh.


Sorry to the owner,
but I found your bag too interesting,
so interesting that I had to take a picture of it.

Ah yes. Laming around when the juniors were having full band.

The left side of the junior band,

And the right side.

And here's Ms Shoon conducting them.

:D



And yes. Please tell me you realised that there's a missing letter.
I was too lazy to go and form a letter 'S' lah.
My name's still nicer than yours. :D


Happy holidays. (:


Every time something happens,
especially something bad happens,
we always have to learn from it right?

Let today be my first lesson then.


Shouting and scolding is really tiring.
And I really don't wanna do that all the time.

I love my BMM, BMA and Secretary + Treasurer,
and of course all the section leaders.
I don't know what would have happened today without them.

Anyway, if you were at AMK community centre hall today,
you would have see Miss SHOON LI LING conducting the junior band!
My God, for that very moment, I don't know,
but it was like a very happy moment.
I'm proud of the junior band,
even though the discipline's still not THERE yet,
but I believe we'll be able to improve things.

And I'm damn proud of LI LING too !
It takes super a lot of courage to stand in front of a band,
even though it's the junior band, and the crowd around,
in front of our own conductor and many others.
Even if its just swinging a baton,
I'm sure it took her a lot of courage.
Congratulations !



Well, it's time to take some time to complete my homework,
before someone sends me out with a smile.

:D


Fabian gave me a belated birthday card a week ago.
The stuff he wrote inside made me think a lot.
But yeah, here some of the main points.

Everything a leader do must be for the sake of his people and not for self.

A leader must make an impact to the life of members.

A leader must have an authoritative side as well as an imminence side.

Be humble and accept the fact that you can be wrong. Reflect and learn from mistakes.

Do not hate a band member.

Do not give up !


And yeah. I wonder if I can ever do that.
Easier said than done, isn't it?


Anyway, I need to improve on my oboe playing too.
I don't know what but whenever I play my solos,
I feel like I'm expressing it but it actually sounds like a straight line and I don't know until I hear the recording.

It's damn weird lah.
Like, I feel it, and I know how I want it to sound like,
but it just doesn't come out to the audience. =(


Ah well. Work hard, hard, hard!
Its 3 more weeks to SYF.
We mustn't give up now.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a success.



And yes, I'm still pissed with the whole staff body of the school.
I hate the fucking school and the whole system they have.
Just two words to describe it,

IT SUCKS.


The school is DAMN fucked up.
As in the WHOLE STAFF BODY.
Just the thought of what happened today makes me wanna scream my ass off.


What the fuck is with accusing ME of talking to teachers ROUGHLY?

Like seriously. Then how'd you want a student to talk to a teacher?
Like how an air stewardess would to some shithole she's serving on the plane?

Mind your fucking asses.
I mean, the teachers don't talk to students with much respect anyway loh.

What's with like

"I'll send you out with a smile."

"Look at the band, the practise so many times a week, but as they as good as the choir who only practises 2 times a week?"

"WHO IS YOUR CM????? -shows some fucked up impatient crumpled black face- "


WHAT THE FUCK LAH.
They themselves flood others with SACARSTIC PHRASES,
they speak so IMPATIENTLY,
and worst of all, they don't even appreciate what the students do.

YAH, bow and pray to the teachers, lick their boots lah.
That's all you have to do to get into their good books.

I mean, SHIT THE HELL OUT OF THEIR HOLES CAN.


And yes, I'm still damn pissed with the FUCKER who said that
shit about comparing the band with the choir.
And all of a sudden, I think even if we work our asses off
to maintain that gold medal or anything else,
nobody will appreciate it AT ALL.

Why? Cos the school's one fucked up system/community,
or whatever you wanna call it.


So yes. From today onwards,
I don't really care about the school reputation.
The only reason I wanna work hard for band, is for MYSELF, my beloved senior, my great grand seniors, maybe Mr Tan, and yeah, for the MUSIC itself.

No more "I want to bring glory to the school" what not.
CRAP. If you wanna do that, I'm telling you its a waste of your time.
Why? Cos all they care about is the SCHOOL NAME.


And you know what? The discipline system is damn fucked up too.
Whatever they doing is depriving the students of the
joy and adventures you'd wanna get in school.
See? The main cause of people playing truant.

Yah.
FOAD.

I cannot wait for my time to leave this shit place.


If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
If you're happy and you know it, and you really wanna show it,
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.


No sound.
Basket.

=(


I JUST GOT A FANTASTIC IDEA FOR PASSING OUT PARADE.
I REALLY THINK I'M DAMN SMART LOH.

HAHAHAHA. :D


Contact me if you're interested alright !
There will be performances by the Junior Bands and SYF Bands
of Ang Mo Kio, Commonwealth and Xinmin Secondary School !

It's just TWO DOLLARS, and you'll get FOOD AND DRINKS,
and get to watch THREE BANDS perform,
and you'll get a copy of a programme booklet that I am going to be designing.

ISN'T THAT LIKE SUCH A GREAT DEAL?
So yeah, please come. You're very very welcome. :D



Met up with the AMK and XM leaders yesterday.
The 3 of us were late. Like 1 hour late.
It had nothing to do with me wanting
to take the RED LINE and getting a seat loh.
It's because Edward was being damn inconsiderate lah.

Anyway, based on first impression,
they're really nice people, like really. I'm serious. :D
It was kinda nice to meet all of them and all lah.

Well yeah, we've all got tasks to do for Saturday.
Hopefully everything goes well !



I love my homework.
Therefore, I will not write on them. :D


Can someone speak to me in a very serious tone?

This thing about different perspectives is problematic.
Different people interpret things differently.
It's good in a way, because then we'll have different opinions.
But it's way more of a demerit rather than a merit.


Let's do something about it.



Games day today was really retarded.
I hated the whole arrangement.
I think the whole thing really sucked.
We should just do things the good old traditional way.
Like people running on the tracks, and people cheering from the seats.

Nevertheless, I love my class.





THREE THREE !


Well, today is the last day of lessons for the term.
Got back my progress report thing.
Must say I did fairly well this term lah.
At least I did prove to my mum that I'd manage studies and band.
So yeah, I'm happy with that.


Tomorrow is GAMES DAY!
And yes, obviously I'm not playing any of the games.
I made for cheering lah, I tell you.
So obviously, I'm in cheer! :D
THREE THREE!
I'm so so so looking forward to the cheering and stuff lah.
Hopefully everyone goes crazy with me. :D HURRAY !



Back to handling the Sec 1 band.
I think I'm messing things up.
Yes, oh your God.

I need a notebook with lines. Like seriously.



Ah anyway, the one week of holidays is gonna be packed!
Packed with loads and loads of band activities.
I'm looking forward to the exchange with AMK, XM and the other schools lah.
I'm kinda curious about how they're actually doing.
Haha, kaypoh kaypoh.

But yeah, but its no harm to just listen to more bands, right? :D


The pile of homework is like a knife.
The moment I open my file,
I get stabbed by the knife.

Okay, that came from like I have no idea where.


GO THREETHREE ! :D


Happy 22nd Month, Bonks !


Today's been hectic.
So have been the past few weeks.

I dislike A Maths lessons. =(


I went shopping with my my mum today!


We discussed this funny thing about people with 'shopping legs'.
You know, there're people who can wear the lousiest slippers,
and just walk and shop for hours,
and they're legs don't hurt a single bit.

Ah anyway, my 'shou huo' is pretty good.
We went to Queensway and then to Ikea.

Since my pair of running cum school shoes are
in a pretty bad condition, I got a new pair of shoes.
They're Asics, white and green. Pretty okay.

And I think my brown sling bag's inappropriate for certain occasions,
so I bought a new bag too. Its white & green & yellow.
Prettier than yours. :X


Went to Ikea.
We went to eat Swedish Meatballs! DELICIOUS!
Walked around and got stuff to beautiful the home,
and some other neccessary things.



And I've come to a conclusion that,
I'm not a person with 'shopping legs'. Are you?



Nevertheless, I'm a happy person today.


I'm sorry, Cybil & Xiangyun.
Sorry, I couldn't attend the AMK concert,
cos yeah. My mum didn't want to let me go.

Yet, it's weird she decided to bring me shopping. O_O
Ah, anyway we'll still meet at the band camp! :D


I've got ZERO confidence in passing the chinese test. GARR.


I think yesterday's rehearsal at SCH went alright.
Except that the OBOE SECTION was very out of tune.
Tianji and I were clashing like nobody's business,
yet no matter how much I try to adjust, it doesn't work. =(

I don't know what happened, but it was rather BAD.
Perhaps due to the super hard reeds,
that got even harder in the super cold environment?


Still, I thought that the whole band could have done better.
Like, I recall times that we sounded better before.
But nevertheless, I guess its rather encouraging to hear
that Mr Tan thinks we've improved, somehow.
So I guess at least it doesn't make it seem like our practices have been in vain.



Went to Fuhua Sec with Tianji today to see Mr. Pan Yun.
Went to him to get reeds because our reeds got really hard to play.
And apparently there's no one to scrap them for us.

WE WENT THERE TO SPY!
No lah. I heard their flutes having sectionals, and discovered that,
THEY'RE PLAYING JERICHO AS WELL !

The thing is, they were practising the 'Years of Exile' part.
I wonder which parts they cut off. =/

But nevertheless, we got our reeds.
Hopefully things will turn out alright.


Looking forward to the band camp.
Rather curious about how XM and AMK sound, compared to us.
Well, hopefully everything goes well,
and we'll make use of the band camp well. :D



Time to catch up with homework !


THANKS to Jerelyn & Daisy for the water dispenser!
Yeah, drink more water! Health is wealth! :D


I called a Sec 1 Junior's mother earlier.
I was convincing her to let her child remain in band.
And yeah, it's super scary can!
But it's fun, in a way. Feel so professional. TSK!



TOMORROW.

Tomorrow is the rehearsal at SCH.
I hope we'll all do our best,
and not waste our one and only chance to rehearse there.
Because the next time we're going there, it'll be SYF already.


I hope everything turns out fine tomorrow.
ADD OIL, everyone.
We must, we will, and we definitely can.





For the music, cheers. :D